Much Goodness…

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

The roses are in bloom on the veranda, resplendent with furniture cast-offs from friends!

Standing by the back door, surrounded by such beauty, I have a heavy heart…

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

I have lost my darling Che-Mousy Bear.

He has passed.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

Bealtaine Cottage seems empty without him.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

Last week was difficult for me, as I struggle to come to terms with the loss of my mother.

Losing Che seems to be a deeper grief…pets have a way of getting deep into the recesses of the human heart and clearing a space there.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

So, as you can imagine, I feel wounded.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

This much I have to say, for there is so much goodness in the world that, at times, we are blinded to it in our own despair, anger, or whatever we feel consumed by…

Upon bringing Che to the Vet to be examined and worked on and after some time of dedication from the vet and all failing…the Vet refused payment!

Can you imagine how that felt?

Such kindness and compassion in the face of chaos and despair.

Never, ever doubt that there is much goodness in this world!

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

Following that, my daughter made the long journey from Belfast, so that we, as a family could mourn and finally bury him, within the stone circle…where he often played.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

So, this week starts anew.

It is Monday and there is much to be done.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

It’s a cloudy morning, at times, with the sun making brief appearances.

The paths need mowing and branches need trimming as the new leaves weigh them down.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

There is an ordinariness to life that gives us all continuum.

permaculture at Bealtaine Cottage

And in between the work and rest, a little bit of my heart remains empty.


  1. oh I have only just read this blog from earlier in the week, my heart goes out to you….it is all the more difficult to come to terms when it happens so out of the blue…. all the messages you have received are so beautiful and a massive comfort for you lovely lady at this very testing time. I always find my energy falls dramatically before a loss and this is what has happened for you for sure. I will hold you and your beautiful little friend in my thoughts and ask for comfort for you. much much love and bright blessings xx

    • Before I opened this message, I was thinking of Che-Mousy and asking myself if there was any more I could have done, or anticipated…but there wasn’t…so to read your lovely message has been an antidote to my sadness. Blessings XXX

  2. Collette, I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your beautiful friend. We said goodbye to our beloved dog, Chief, this year and it was not an easy thing to do. Connections across the great species divide renew a deep understanding in us that all is soul and all is conscious and really there is no divide. One day in the company of a pure soul is worth a whole lifetime and I know that both your life and that of your lovely cat were enriched by journeying together for a time. God bless Che-Mousy Bear -and you -on your new journeys and may your paths cross once more in time.
    Love from Lol XXX.

  3. The love you shared with both your mother and your much loved four legged friend will remain with you forever and your beautiful surroundings will bring you many reminders of that love in the days to come.

  4. My dearest sympathies, the loss of a pet is dear. I suspect his spirit will run free through the garden paths as he always did…

  5. So terribly sorry for your loss of Che, and the pain you feel. All pets make our hearts bigger, and when they are gone, the hole seems immense, and yet, we are so blessed to have been with them and those memories will eventually heal the wound. ♥

  6. There’s nothing I can add except to sympathise, Colette. One thing is certain: he couldn’t have had a better place to live.


      • Our first pet, we bought him. We were novices. We knew no better. Never again. I urge everyone to do what they can to avoid all animal exploitation. There are literally hundreds of thousands of animals out there needing protection already, without paying someone to deliberately breed them.

        What this means for me is…once one accepts that all species have rights to be here on their own terms, you yourself become a magnet for them. They find you. That’s what happened to us. All our companions, excluding that first, have found us. Some stay, others visit.

        Maybe it’s these Schumann resonances, who knows? 8))


        • Oh, yes indeed, that is how it happens. And all these precious little souls adapt to you. A friend of mine cannot keep pets where he lives, yet a particular cat who has no home, stops by every day for food and rest, sometimes staying for hours before disappearing back on her travels.
          Blessings XXX

          • That’s wonderful, I love it.

            We know a cat a little like that. S/he’s been away for months, now s/he’s back, spending a little time in one of our sheds. S/he’s big and has no trouble getting fed, wherever s/he goes. But s/he is obviously quite ‘wild’ (ie normal) and we don’t bother her/him, just make sure there’s a little food out.

            We get the occasional goat or deer raiding the garden, but sadly they’re rare and getting rarer. Plenty of hares, rabbits, foxes, badgers, pine martens, stoats, rats, mice, voles, though.

            We’re surrounded by monochromatic pasture for miles, with little sustenance or shelter for any creature, so our oasis is a little cut off. Ho hum.


  7. I’m sorry you’ve lost your lovely Che Mousy Bear. It hurts so much when they go. Hugs
    Your pink rose is lovely. Do you know what it is called.

    • Thanks and blessings to you Sue XXX
      The pink rose is an enigma with no known name…though am sure it can be identified by some knowledgeable person! This was the first rose that ever grew for me, and in two tyres at that!

  8. So sorry to hear of your loss, Colette. It seems this past week and weekend were so very poignant and heart wrenching for many people in their own way — for some reason, especially the people I know involved with permaculture. Wishing you comfort and healing. I have not planted the butterfly bush seeds from you yet, but it just occurred to me to do so in honor of Che Mousy Bear. I have just planted roses and lilies in honor of one of my grandmothers who passed last fall — and we are getting bird friendly serviceberry trees from the city, in honor of my other grandmother who passed in April 2013. The first loved roses and had the last name, Lilly; the second loved all birds. May Nature heal you, and honor those who have gone to the Otherside.

    • Blessings dear Laura and thank you for wishing comfort and healing. You have touched on something quite profound in what you say about many people working near the Mother have experienced heartfelt emotions of one kind or another just recently. I try in my own way to go with the flow. Today has been wonderful in that I have felt all this beautiful, uplifting energy around me, coming from so many good, good people, like yourself. I feel blessed and much comforted. Blessings always XXX

  9. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Che Mousy. What you said about the passing of a pet bringing about buried emotions is so true. I lost my Misty Cat a few months after my Mom passed. It was so hard I cried for days, it was like reliving the grief for Mom all over again. Sending you hugs and Blessings from Mississippi

    • Thank you so very much…the warmth from you and so many other wonderful souls is felt here today. All this lovely energy has been a great tonic and I thank you. XXX Blessings to you XXX

  10. So sorry to hear this. Sometimes these wonderful creatures stay for many years while others depart what seems much too soon. Pain is the price of love. Condolences.

  11. Allow yourself time to grieve and be sad…the unconditional love our animals have for us sometimes amazes me; they only see the best in us. The welcome home we got from our dogs and cat when we returned after our month of travels was so JOYOUS…we are all blessed to have such a bond. My delight in your garden, your home, and you keeps growing, and I am seeing my own garden afresh….plans are underway to plant a hundred more trees here before the end of our Winter. Many thanks for for the time spent with you, and the inspiration we brought away from that day, cheers, Shannon

    • Dearest Shannon…it was a joyful and fun day and my delight to spend precious time with you both, travelling, as you did, from the other side of the world! Blessings to you both…love and hugs XXX

  12. So sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. Before I read your blog tonight I shed a tear over cats I lost years ago. The love never fades. I love reading your blog. Keep doing what you’re doing and know that you enrich the lives of many. Life goes on. Planet Earth is an amazing place.

  13. Dear Colette,
    Words cannot say the sorrow I feel for you. I have been through that loss many times. It was wonderful that your Daughter came down to share this time with you. Che will be with you always in spirit and with us all who were privileged to know Che through your blog. XXX

  14. Sending you love and blessings from across the pond. Your posts are such a comfort and encouragement to me. I wish you comfort now. Walking and working in your beautiful garden should bring you some relief and hope that life does go on. We are so fortunate to have had the love of our animal companions and to have loved them as our family. May time heal your sorrow and your memories soothe your soul. Peace & love.

  15. So sorry for your loss Colette – that’s three losses in the last year so hopefully that’s an end to them now and you can move forward. It seems that Che Mousey went very suddenly, so that must be a shock to you as well. Look after yourself dear friend. x

  16. So sorry to hear your news, your “low” of last week was very understandable, and now you have lost Che too. Your strength, supported by your lovely land will carry you through. We will hold you in the light.

  17. Grief takes it’s place along with everything else in our lives. Losing a loved one isn’t something to get over, and the pain we feel is all part of Mother Earth’s pain, but we feel her joy as well.

  18. I am so sorry to learn about your loss.  One day, you will rejoin Mousy Bear in the next life.  I promise.  Janet

  19. I am so sorry for your losses too. And I hope you find consolation in your garden. May that empty spot be filled with serenity and grace soon.

  20. so sorry for your loss! oh how our pets prove our hearts for them, the depth of our connection to them, once they’ve gone…a deep grieving…as deep as the soul…

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